I sketched up some sequentials for one of my book ideas, that I started working on about a year ago. I had previously thumbnailed all 22 pages for the first book, but with a year more experience under my belt, that work needed to be scrapped.
Recently, I've been wanting to start doing some pages again, so I went back to the drawing board yesterday and sketched out a new first page.
Any feedback on this is welcome. Thanks!
You've really focused on placing a lot of emotion into the character's face which always makes for good story telling. Because it helps the audience to relate to how the character is feeling!
On top of that you've also put a huge amount of effort into detailing out the establishing shot of the apartment building, with great use of perspective.
And the narrative plays out very well from panel to panel within a logical sequence. You've done an awesome job here - you should be proud of this piece!
It looks like you've got a good handle on environments and architecture - But your areas of improvement really lie in the anatomy of your characters - and how to depict your characters in a more stylized, comic art way.
What I would suggest is observing the work of other artists and looking at how they articulate their characters in similar situations.
Personally this really helped me out in figuring out how to translate what I wanted to draw into more of a stylized comic art format. For example if I wanted to draw someone who was angry, scared or joyful, I'd look at say, the art of Marc Silvestri or Todd McFarlane and study how they'd drawn characters who conveyed similar emotions.
We can learn a lot from other artists especially those who inspire us - so don't be afraid of letting them direct the development of your style. Because at the end of the day that is what style is - a combination of the artists we admire with a little bit of ourselves mixed in.
Keep up the incredible work, looking forward to seeing what you've got coming up next. :)
Thanks for the detailed and thoughtful response, Clayton! I really appreciate the positive feedback, and your assessment of my weaknesses is spot on!
I definitely need to work on my comic style, anatomy, figure drawing, foreshortening, use of black, crosshatching, dynamic poses, etc... Looking back at my original thumbnails of this book from a year ago, and the artwork is pretty embarrassing. I'm also, still looking for that balance between really tight pencils vs. speed, perfect vs. done, and how much shading to do in pencils, inks, and colors. Really, every time I draw I try to push beyond what I've done previously. Your great feedback will really help me focus the areas to improve!
To put some perspective on my background, I'm 38 and never really read comics until about a year-and-a-half ago - which inspired me to start drawing again. In the past, most of my drawing experience was in realistic pencil portraits, still life, and drafting. Adapting to a comic style has been MUCH more challenging than I anticipated. I'm also still figuring out WHO my favorite artists are - most of my studies have come from individuals like yourself and Rob Marzullo. I'm always looking for new sources of inspiration, and reference to develop my own style. Thanks for your suggestions here, and I'll definitely take a closer look at Marc Silvestri and Todd McFarlane!
This page is really my first serious attempt at a complete page of penciled sequential art, and I'm really excited for how it turned out. I have received some great feedback on this piece from the various social media outlets that I've posted it, and I've made a few tweaks to the page, including an extra panel to help build the suspense. When I posted the original in this forum, I really did consider the pencils finished, even if a bit sketchy. Well, here's the newer, more improved version. For the sake of "done" I've started laying out page 2, and hopefully, I'll have something to show in the near future! :)
Thanks again, Clayton!
This looks great Aftermac.. I agree with a lot of Clayton's point's.. The expression and emotions in the panels are really well done.
I really hope you keep on going with it. I know it can be super hard making comic's in the beginning, but if you stick at it and don't give up, you can make something great ;)
- One thing i learned is to not be too much of a perfectionist. Not every page will be perfect. But try to look at the project as it is overall, rather then judging the how each page looks.
Other then that. it's a great start ;). Can't wait to see more too.
Thanks for the kind words, Korey! I'm glad the expressions are coming across. I put quite a bit of effort into the subtleties of her expressions. I draw quite a bit from reference - more than I would like, actually - because I want to make sure the artwork is telling as much of the story as possible. NOT being perfect is something I have to keep reminding myself. I could easily put another 20 hours into the pencils on this, so I have to tell myself it's good enough and move on.
You're not kidding making comics is difficult! :) I got into comics since, being a more visual person, I'm not capable of writing prose... And, I certainly don't have the attention span to read prose! Visual storytelling is extremely hard, but drawing is more fun than writing. :D
I do have some concerns about the story itself... I have this planned as a long story arc, and much of the background and premise doesn't get explained until book #3. The first book takes a couple sharp left turns, so I'm trying to balance telling just enough of the story to not confuse the reader, but also allow more detail to slowly come out over the course of the arc...
Of course, it's also entirely possible that the whole premise of the store is completely flawed. In that case, at least I'll gain some experience drawing sequentials, and a lesson in bad storytelling! :D
-Jason